Lygon Street, Carlton - Revenge of the Killer Restaurant Spruikers

If there is one thing I hate, loathe, detest with every fibre of my being, it's restaurant spruikers.

I just can't stand them. If I'm walking up and down a strip and looking for somewhere to eat, I'd like to look at the menu in peace and make my own choice.

But if a restaurant spruiker comes and and tries to get me to go inside, well... I'm sorry. For me, that's an automatic Permanent Rejection.

You should not need to try and drum up custom from passing traffic. Your restaurant should be able to get people to come in simply by being there and by having a menu on the outside, and maybe a specials board. Speaking of which, if a restaurant doesn't have a menu on the outside, well that is also a little suspect as well. Also grounds for Permanent Rejection.

Case in point, Lygon Street, Carlton. It's a very touristy spot, mainly known for it's Italian cuisine. I love Italian food and Lygon Street offers plenty of choices. But half of them will never have my custom, because they have been Permanently Rejected. (see a theme developing here?)

There are however places on Lygon Street with the good sense to trade on looks alone. If a place is packed, I think it's pretty obvious that the food must be good. And the staff aren't wasting time trying to drum up more customers simply because they don't need to, they're usually lined up waiting for a table.

One such place is Papa Gino's. We go there regularly. It's not that fancy, just simple standard Italian food, nice pizzas, nice pasta. It's really a family restaurant. It's not the sort of place you linger for hours, basically we normally eat and leave. And we like it that way.

And I've never seen the staff trying to drag people inside. They're far to busy serving the hoards.

If you're on Lygon Street and feel like Italian Fare, then there are plenty of choices. You may have to wait for Papa Gino's but the wait won't be that long, it's pleasant and quick.

And remember, Permanently Reject any and all spruikers.

It's the only way they'll learn.

Grill'd - If only the whole world was like this

One of my personal favourites over the last few years has become Grill'd.

Grill'd is basically a trendy new Burger restaurant. It was first recommended to me by a work colleague. We are lucky in that we have a Grill'd in our suburb (Hawthorn).

Basically the burgers are cheap, and they are GOOD. It's as simple as that. There's a bit of a wait; but it's not to bad. There's a great choice of different juices and soft drinks in the fridge, there's even chips if you're that hungry. But I'd recommend against it. The burger itself really fills you up, and knocks all other fast food style restaurants out of the park.

We went on Monday night, I had the "Mighty Melbourne" burger, and a Cascade Sparkling Ultra C juice. Yummo. My Partner had a Garden Goodness Vegie Burger, which also looks really nice.

The food, although very nice, is not the high point of Grill'd, at least for me.

The main highlight of Grill'd is simple. The staff are all HOT.

For instance Hawthorn Grill'd... well, there is nobody ugly amongst them. They all look like they fell off a Milan catwalk or something. Even the hair looks fantastic, I'm convinced that there's a hairdresser out the back keeping them all looking fabulous. If you want hot young eye candy, this is the place to go, and they even have to be nice to you because you're the customer.

They're buffed and ripped and it's almost criminal that they're working in a burger joint.

And Hawthorn isn't alone in this, I've visited both Richmond, Prahran and Fitzroy Grill'ds and everybody is simply beautiful.

Which leads to the next concern, if you are ugly, or even worse, fat, will you get a job at Grill'd? I don't think so. I want my trendy burger with no fat whatsoever, even on the staff.

We have come to call Grill'd "emo-burger", simply because most of the staff and half the customers have emo hair cuts, but it's not really emo... this is basically the quintessential Generation Y establishment. Being 36, I almost felt like I'm invading some kids' party, but you do feel welcome believe it or not.

And to give them another free plug, Grill'd gave all Movember participants who raised more than $50 free burgers for two and a half weeks, one per day. That's a LOT of free burgers. I had a few of them as a Movember participant and have to say the generosity is pretty amazing.

So, apart from keeping fat people working at McDonalds, Grill'd really can do no wrong. It probably does have an upper age limit of 40... I just wouldn't take my parents here. But if you want a good burger, quick and cheap, you can not go wrong.

Check em out at http://www.grilld.com.au/ .